My First Grown-Up Christmas Day (2010)

written on Christmas Day 2010.

“Change is indeed inevitable, no matter how much you are used to a routine, there comes a time that you will have to undergo change with it, whether you like it or not”

In the start of this Christmas season, I’ve been always pondering on what its true essence is. Every time I have my idle time, there are only two things I’m thinking: what is the true spirit of Christmas, and if my budget is sufficient for the season.

 One time, I thought that the essence of it rely on materialism, that the happiness bound with it revolves on how expensive the gifts you receive. Like for an instance, people always say that Christmas is only for children. Why did they so? Because at this season, only children receive many toys, clothes, and money for present. Therefore, the happiness in Christmas is really based on material things.

It is my first Christmas that I have my own money; it is because I’m already working. When I’m writing my Christmas list, I noticed something, that my gift list is 3 times longer than my wish list. Is this the price of Christmas for an adult like me?

Then there it is, I did my Christmas shopping, and surprise, I didn’t have anything to buy for myself because of insufficient budget. It’s my first Christmas that I didn’t have new clothes to flaunt.

Last night, Christmas Eve, when it’s minutes before Christmas, me and my family exchanged gifts. My small brother and sister received a branded flip flops, my dad and my big brother received a polo shirt, and my mom received a bag that were all from me. While I just received three handkerchiefs from them.

At first, I felt disappointed, after spending my Christmas bonus to their presents, I only got this simple present from them.

But then when I saw the beam on their faces while opening and fitting my gifts, then I sighed and just randomly smiled.

That moment, I realized that I already graduated from the receiving part of Christmas. It’s now time for me to give. It’s been 20 years and 20 Christmas that I’m the one who always receive gifts.

Change is one of the phenomena that I’m trying to understand. Why there is nothing permanent here in this planet? or even in this universe?

This Christmas is a big change for me, nevertheless, this change can be a beginning for something. I’m pertaining to the real essence of Christmas: giving. Perhaps, those people who say that “Christmas is only for kids”, are those who doesn't see that “Giving is really the meaning of Christmas, and then indeed, it’s only for those who contains the maturity to live and to understand it”. Merry Christmas Everyone! :)

first time shot with my Raquidan cousins

Christmas Family Picture

Raquidan Cousins

with Lola Naring

Henson kids with Jason and Jenica

Henson Siblings

THE PRICE AND PRIZE OF OBIDIENCE

It’s been a long time since I felt this feeling. A feeling that I once felt in one of my relationships before, then all of a sudden… I felt it once more.

Perhaps I’m one of the most obedient people you’ll meet. I always have this feeling of dissonance every time I disobey someone or not conform to any social norm. The reward is acceptance from others and from the society I'm living at, while the consequence is that I seldom get happy, because I prioritized what other wants rather than what I really want.

Once in my life before, I felt very happy, happiness that I guess rare in my case. Perhaps I felt it because at that time, I fought for what I think would make me happy. Now, I’m very happy for the thought that I’m feeling the same happiness that I felt before.

But nothing is certain now; blank signals that are vague are the only one that I am receiving. I’m confuse and don’t really know what to expect.

I don’t know if I’ll fight for this one, but for now, I guess it’s enough for me that when I thought that after a long time, I again felt the happiness that became so ungenerous to me.

THREE KINDS OF FRIENDS THAT YOU MUST HAVE

There must be three kinds of friends you must have: first, older people, second, people who are at the same age that you are, and lastly, people who are younger than you. Older friends serve as your mentors, while friends who are at the same age as you are those whom you enjoy the things that are within your age bracket. and those younger friends are those whom you take responsibility to guide and to mentor.

Last night, I had my first Christmas party for this year at Kat’s place. Here are our pictures:

Orange, Pau, Me, Kuya Dennis and Kuya Mon

Giftssss :)

hungry??

Foood: Chicken Barbeque

Exchange Gift Time:)

Pau got Mam Chris, then Mam Chris got Pau

This is funny, days before our Christmas party, we made a wishlist. Mam Chris wrote "Peace on Earth" and "Honda Jazz" as her wish. Pau, who got Mam Chris, made a dummy gift with a carton that has a "Peace on Earth" and "Honda Jazz" writings. hahahaha!

Mam Chris got headset from pau

Pau had a shirt from Ma'am Chris

Kuya Mon got James, James received a boxer shorts.

James got Kuya Dennis

Kuya Dennis and the cigarette case with the built-in lighter that he received from James

Kuya Dennis got Kat, and Kat recieved a pack of Cigarette and a bottle of Perfume

Kat got Kuya Mon, and Kuya Mon received sets of bowls 

Choi got Agel, and Agel received a coin purse with 100 peso coins in it

Agel got Choi, and Choi recieved a bottle of perfume

I got Orange, while Orange got me. I received an orange headset from him, while he received the shirt he's wearing from me

I gave all of them personalize name tags for xmas :)

We got Red Horse beer and Mojitos tequila for our drink

Party ender Breakfast-lunch :)

I had hit 3 birds with one stone. I instantly met the 3 kinds of friends in one group. In it, I have older friends like Kuya Mon and Kuya Dennis. I also have friends in the same age as mine, that's Mam Chris and Kat. And of course, younger friends such as Choi, Orange, Pau, Agel and James.

Certainly our party was a blast, not to mention Orange's noticeable improvement in alcohol intake(haha). Kidding-aside, in my new world and in my new venture, I am lucky enough to have this new people to celebrate Christmas with. Kuya's to mentor and guide you, buddies who can ride your interests because you belong in the same age bracket, and young friends for you to guide and advise are some of the many reasons to celebrate the Yuletide Season.   

Feels Like Gold

Our Entry--3rd place :)

I’m happy right now, I mean very very happy. Good thing, I have the chance to blog this experience on my peak of my emotion. We won 3^rd place (bronze) in the belen-making contest in Pasko sa Clark.

A month ago, the tourism office sent us an invitation for the belen-making competition. It’s been a while since I last practiced my creative crafts, that’s why I decided to join, and also, to have the big cash award.

Fortunately, Kuya Dennis and Kuya Ramil are also willing to participate. They constructed the belen with my design, while I was designated to create the figures inside. Also, Kuya Ramil took care of the lighting and electric stuffs.

It’s been three or two weeks of work for us. Sleepless nights, bruises, burns and backaches are what we experience during the preparation period, not to mention the idea conflicts. The preparation was in deed excruciating. We also had a very tight budget for this project, but still, we made it. J

Then there it was, it’s judging night. I had a small fight with Kuya Ramil before the judging period because of the light installation; I also hit Joyce hard (sorry) because she was over-eating again when I went home to get the camera. In short, I’m not feeling well minutes before the competition. Not to mention the tight competition between the contestants.

It was time to announce the winners when kuya Dennis had some spray of alcohol from me, then I suddenly heard…” 3^rd place goes to Clark Polytechnic!”. Oh my! That’s us, I told myself. We immediately rush to stage and get our trophy and cash prize.

With good work relationships among us, the bonding we built, and the support from friends and family, though we just had a bronze, it felt like we just had gold. Hello Christmas. :D

Kuya Ramil

Yehey! We won 3rd :)

SMK-first place, well deserved :)

El Kabayo-2nd place

Me, Behind is our entry :)

IT’S WHEN EIGHT YEARS IS ENOUGH

I think I overstayed, I think I’m overdue, and I think I’m over age for this. I’m referring to a Christian Life Program called the Youth for Christ (YFC).

Last night, I attended our last Club Praise in YFC. It is an event where we gather the former members of our group and as well as the recent and former coordinator.

But before I continue, I might as well give a glimpse of my 8 years of YFC life.

The Start

It was May 2002 when I first joined this organization. I was about 12 years old then and I was also the youngest in the group. There are 2 main reasons why I joined: first is that my parents are a member of Couples for Christ, a sort of a mother group of YFC, and second, I thought at first, it was fun.

To be formally initiated, I must first have to undergo a 3-day camp, the YFC Youth Camp.

At the day of the camp, I felt that I am important, that I will find a lot of big brothers and big sisters to take care of me. Upon graduation in the camp, I noticed that the whole YFC community in our chapter is like an ecosystem.

The life after the camp was never been easy for me. As what I’ve said, it is like an ecosystem. It has a sort of a food chain. It has its prey and a predator. The preys are those newbie that are not “in”. On the other hand, the predators are those who are cool, they have the latest gadgets, have the coolest out fits etc., in short, they are those who are on top of the food chain.

Unfortunately, I classify myself then on the prey group. Every time I attend a meeting or an assembly, I always feel alone, I always find someone to accompany me so that no one will see me alone.

In one corner, there were the predators, bragging on the cool stuffs that they have and recruiting other potential predators. While on the other corner, there are the minority groups, those who don’t have anything to brag, the preys. This social stratification in the group made me sick.

 Because of the social system that lingers in this group, I decided to stop serving, even though my parents would not allow me to.

But I don’t want to blame it all on the predators and system for me being alone in my early YFC years. I might as well blame myself for being passive being too quiet.

MY YFC GOLDEN DAYS IN YFC

Three years passed when I decided to be active in YFC. I remembered, it was Rhyss’ camp that urged me to join again. At last, I will have a companion every time we’ll have our assembly (that will be Rhyss).

Rhyss’ 3-day camp was fun. I didn’t realize how much fun it is. It’s quite tiring, but it was all worth it. After that camp, I attended almost every assembly that followed.

Because I became active, our coordinators assigned me to be a household head. At first, it thought it was easy, but then, it was not. Now, tables are turned. Before, I was the member that needs a lot of convincing power from my heads for me to attend. Now, I’m the leader who is running-out of convincing power for my members, so that they will attend assemblies.

After my shot in being a household head, my coordinators assigned me to be the program leader of AUF-Campus Based. There, I did have a hard time. The administration of the University won’t allow us to penetrate again in their community. My leadership in YFC, in different sectors, are all epic fail.

Though my leadership skills were not successful, unlike before, this time, I felt the feeling of belongingness which I failed to feel in my first years in this community.

GOOD MEMORIES AND NOTHING ELSE

My YFC experiences are not all in gloomy days, most of the time, there were also rainbows and butterflies.

Here are the conferences in YFC which I had my best memories at:

• International Leader’s Conference 2008- Tagaytay City
• Household Leader’s Training – Magalang Farm
• Regional Conference – Tarlac City
• Provincial Conference – Camp Olivas
• International Leader’s Conference 2010- Baguio City
• Provincial Conference 2006 – Arayat
• Household/Birthday Party – July 25, 2009 – Our home
• Core Night Out- Club Bossa
• One Blood, One God – Shanghai Palace
• Regional Conference – Nueva Ecija

• 

  International Leader's Conference 2010-Baguio City

  
  

  

  One Blood, One God Club Praise --Shanghai Palace

  
  

  

  Core Night-Out--Klub Bossa

  
  

  

  Household/My Birthday Party

  
  

  

  Household Leader's Training-- Magalang Farm

  
  

  

  International Leader's Conference 2008-- Tagaytay City

  Supposed to be Discovery Camp – Our home

Most of the time, no matter how beautiful or tragic the story is, it always have to end to give space to a new epic. My 8-year stay in YFC is a series of good and not so good experience, nevertheless, it thought me how to reach out, to stay outside of my comfort zone, to have a strong faith in the Catholic God, and have the chance to meet true friends that are indeed hard to find.

My Christmas ListSSSS 2010:)

The Yuletide Season is on it's way, and it's my first time to celebrate Christmas with me having a work. I can honestly say that I am more stressed than excited in this coming season.

Here are my....


Christmas Wishlist 2010:

• polo-shirt
• denim jeans
• gumsole rubber shoes
• shorts
• cell phone
• fliflops
• watch
• and world peace (haha)

My Christmas Gift List:

• Dad- still have no idea, perhaps a perfume would do.
• Mom- bag
• Kuya Carlo- no idea
• Joyce- school bag?not sure yet
• Nico- flipflops or shirt
• Armi, Chinney, Bap, Jan2, Justin, Chloe, Jensen and Ate Kyle - personalized key chain
• Kat, Mam Chris, Mam Beng, Choi, Orange, James, Berms and pau- (secret, perhaps kat may read this entry.haha)
• Aika and Miles- We'll be having an on the spot exchange gift.
• Rhyss- love and prayers?haha overseas gift is too expensive
• God Children- money

My Christmas Parties

• Children's party @ Kat's place- Kath, Malit and the Rest of the Gang- Dec 17-18
• Fab Christmas Party '10 @ Spencer's fusion -Fab Friends - Dec 19
• Clark Polytechnic Christmas Party @ i don't know yet - CPDFI Faculty and Staff -Dec 23
• Raquidan's Christmas Party @ our ancestral house in Angeles City -Dec 24
• Cruz Family Reunion @ our ancestral house in Angeles City- Cruz Clan- Dec26
• Tuazon Grand Family Reunion@ Tuazon Highlands Resort- Tuazon Clan - Dec 31
• Puhr Party@ i don't know where- no date yet
• Saturday's Party- perhaps Me and Jow - no date yet

My Hopes:

• That we may be granted with a PNOY bonus worth 1 month slary, tax free.
• That we may be granted with a 14th-month pay worth half of my monthly salary, taxed.
• That we'll win in the Belen-Making contest here in my work. Prizes amounting to 1,000-20,000
• That aside of my status, having a work, my Aunts will still give aguinaldo :)

I'm supposed to edit the introduction of this post, however, when I'm writing this entry, I felt more excited than stressed. Hope that all of my Christmas Listsssss mentioned above may materialize. :) 

"HELLO SIR" ONCE MORE

It’s like two days ago when I thought that I would not handle teaching loads anymore. But it seemed like I miss the whole me-teaching-again scenario after the incident I’ve encountered today.

WHY I BECAME A PART OF THE ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE

At first, I applied in my company as part-time English teacher. Fortunately, they are badly in need of a full-time English and Social Science teacher. I accepted the post and started teaching.

The faculty officer gave me four different subjects to teach, namely: Basic English, Writing across the Discipline, Sociology and Philippine History. I guess so far, I never became so stressed like before I accepted to handle the aforementioned subjects.

Four different subjects, meaning four different subject preparations per week, is tantamount to a burden on my part. “I can’t live with this kind of schedule”, I told myself. That’s why I quite teaching Basic English. Unfortunately, since I dropped Basic English, I am not anymore qualified for the post of Full-Time faculty member.

Luck is still on my side, because the post for Marketing-Assistant for the same company is still open. The bargain is this, they’ll give me the post for Marketing-Assistant, but I must continue teaching my subjects except for Basic English.

I-AM-NOT-A-TEACHER-ANYMORE TIMES

Upon the end of the first semester, I’ve noticed that there’s quite change in my work schedule. Before, when I’m still teaching, by the time I go home, I‘ll sleep then when I wake up, I’ll review my lesson for the next day.

But now that I don’t have any teaching loads anymore, after work, all I need to do is sleep, wake up, surf the net, and then watch the television. My schedule became a No student-encounter, more break-time, no computation, no reviews for tomorrow, and less stress. In short, work became easier when I became a full-time member of the admin. That’s why days ago; I decided that if my immediate superior will ask me to teach again, I would certainly refuse the offer. Let’s put it this way, I am now lying in a very comfortable bed, so why would I go back in the cold floor again to sleep?

FELT THE SAME FEELING AGAIN

This morning, while I’m typing and arranging my schedule for marketing, the faculty officer approached me. She wants me to substitute the Political Science teacher in her class for the whole week, it’s because the teacher will be absent because of family matters. Good thing the schedule is not a conflict and I really want to handle Political Science.

Then there it was, in a span of 1 hour, I prepared my lesson and my visual aid. I arrived at the class room 10 minutes late. Then I discussed the lesson. The discussion is smooth sailing, though students sometimes were noisy, I saw anxiousness in them on the subject.

The “good afternoon sir”, setting-up of the projector and laptop, rush lesson preparation, and students interaction made me realized that I miss this stressful floor where I used sleep at.

Focusing on the negative aspect of a certain expirience will lead you in hating it. Like in my case, since I treated my teaching expirience as a stressor, I failed to see how rewarding it was. That if I weigh in the negative and positive effects on it to mine, certainly, the positive side would weigh heavier. :)