It’s been a long time since I felt this feeling. A feeling that I once felt in one of my relationships before, then all of a sudden… I felt it once more.
Perhaps I’m one of the most obedient people you’ll meet. I always have this feeling of dissonance every time I disobey someone or not conform to any social norm. The reward is acceptance from others and from the society I'm living at, while the consequence is that I seldom get happy, because I prioritized what other wants rather than what I really want.
Once in my life before, I felt very happy, happiness that I guess rare in my case. Perhaps I felt it because at that time, I fought for what I think would make me happy. Now, I’m very happy for the thought that I’m feeling the same happiness that I felt before.
But nothing is certain now; blank signals that are vague are the only one that I am receiving. I’m confuse and don’t really know what to expect.
I don’t know if I’ll fight for this one, but for now, I guess it’s enough for me that when I thought that after a long time, I again felt the happiness that became so ungenerous to me.
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