A DREAM THAT IS YET TO BE DREAMED

Start: 10:29am

This morning, our librarian, Ma’am Judith, showed me her Aunt’s picture in Canada. Her Aunt works as a food attendant in the said country. Ma’am Judith is also in the process of applying for the same post in the same country.

The offer for the work as food attendant in Canada is really tempting. I can earn as much as 9 times compared to my salary here, or even 3 times as much as my dad’s salary. Isn’t that convincing enough?

Here are some of my inspirations in leaving for the country for work:

• I can give a better financial aid to my family. We’re not rich, or something near there. I can say we earn in average, enough to have a happy and decent life. But with my parent’s perseverance and goodness, I think they, together with my brothers and sister, deserve to live a better life.
• I can live independently. Armed with myself and a handful of determination, I want to live independently, working hard, earning my own money and having the pride to stand in my own bare feet. No rules to follow but mine alone.
• It will be my first time to travel overseas. As they say, hit to birds with one stone. While I’m there, I won’t just work, I also would like to go places, experience what is like on the fall and winter season, eat different kinds of foods, and experience different culture.
• I can save and prepare for my future. I am single, and that serves as an advantage in venturing in other countries for work. With that status, I can save enough money for myself so that in the near future, I can have a capital for a business or in starting a family of my won (if there will be).

On the other hand, here are some of the reasons that hinder me in dreaming for this opportunity:

•  True enough, there’s no place like home. I am close to my family and to friends. I’ve invested too much time with them, making me closer to them. In moving in to another place, it’s easier to travel with a little baggage at hand. In my case, they are the baggage that I need to let gofor the meantime.  It will be hard, but it will be all for the better.
• It’s my first time to live alone. Related with the first reason of not leaving, since I was a child, there will always be a mom by my side cooking my meals, a dad giving an allowance and friends to text when I’m down. In living independently, I don’t have anyone beside me but myself. Can I handle this: laundry, budgeting, lonely nights or even lonely holidays? But who knows, I’m at the right age to be mature enough to stand alone.
• I have to give-up the good life. Right now, I can say that we have a better life than before. I have a free temporary house, free of bills, has two house maid, has a good job that is very convenient (walking-distance from home), and I got used to the weekend night life. In my potential work abroad, I have to give up all of this convenience or the good life that I have.
• My Bachelor’s Degree will be on the brink of getting wasted. I worked hard in college to have good grades and so that I can venture in media (I graduated A.B. Mass Communication). The work offered overseas is not even related to my course, this may cause in my brain drain on my part.

Money, branded stuffs, good house, car and a Canadian bank account. Who doesn’t want to have these? As much as possible, I don’t want to base happiness on material things or on aspiring good life to my family. But I guess it’s not a crime to hope and work hard for a good life.

Again, I am pre-emptying everything. Nothing is sure yet. I even didn’t have my passport renewed. But I just can’t contain it to myself, that’s why I might as well blog it.

End:11:29am

THE JOKER’S EULOGY

“there is nothing that you can threaten me with”

-THE JOKER, Dark Knight

The Joker, Dark Knight (Photo Credits:http://www.theocentric.com/assets/joker.jpg)

What is like on The Joker’s Eulogy? He has no friends and has no family. But on the bright side, when he leaves, no one gets hurt

After a coffee date with Aika, I went home, took a bath, opened my laptop, and turned on the television. Fortunately, my favorite movie is currently airing: The Dark Knight by Christopher Nolan.

In the movie, Joker, Batman’s archenemy is a criminal who has no fear and can barely feel any pain whether physical or emotional. He kills people without hesitation, he blows up hospitals, robs banks and does all of the things he wants to do without feeling guilty.

There is one scene in the movie where Batman tortures Joker so that the Joker will spill out the address of Bruce Waynes’ (Batman’s outer ego) friends Rachel and Harvey (kidnapped by the Joker and placed in two separate places, tied with oil drums around them and a timed bomb).

In the scene, Batman was hitting the Joker hard, but the Joker just laughs and said “there is nothing that you can threaten me with”. The Joker, doesn’t have any friends, doesn’t have any family, he has men but are paid to keep him company, but he’s happy, he has no worries and don’t conform to any of the social norms.

In short, The Joker doesn’t value anything or anyone, not even himself (he even got a grenade on his coat for self-destruction). That’s why he has no fear, because he’s not afraid to loose anything or anyone. He doesn’t invest in any kind of emotion.

November 6, 2010, my uncle Eddie (mom’s big brother) died because of lung cancer. Normally, all of his children and his wife wept for his absence. The last night of his wake was dramatic. His family organized a Eulogy, a sort of a give-testimonial-to-the-dead ceremony.

On that night, I was tasked to take pictures. While the friends and family of my deceased uncle are commemorating their good memories with him, instead of crying, I began to ask. Why I’m not crying? Wherein almost of the people here in the wake were crying a river? What’s my difference to them?

The answer is very simple. Because I and my uncle were not close, we didn’t have the chance to bond or to exchange conversation, that’s why it is not that bad for me that he left.

Then I imagine what if this Eulogy is intended for my dad? or, my closest friend? Oh gees, I got teary eyed.

Perhaps I’ll cry more than this people cried when one of my immediate family members dies or even my closest friend leaves.

This time now, I’ve been busy hanging out with my friends and my family (we are going to Baguio next week, yehey!), building strong relationships and investing so many emotions. In my own little ways, I always try to make them feel that they are important to me, while most of them reciprocate the feeling of importance that I am giving them.

But what will I feel when they will leave me in an instance? In the case of my uncle, the doctor warned them that my uncle will only going to last for 3 months. His family did their best to keep him company, investing too much emotion. Then, he left, leaving his family weeping because of his absence.

Is there really a sense in getting close to a person? When sooner or later they’ll just leave us out of the blue, maybe you’ll loose your closeness with them or they'll die (remember: death is permanent) . Everyone leaves, some leaves early on, while some leaves when the story is all about to end. So basically, no one really stays. That's the bitter pill we need to swallow.

I don’t even know what to feel right now, should I stop building relationships so that when I leave or when they leave, there is no pain to be felt by any of the parties. Or continue to value every family and friends that I have, and end up hurting each other.

People in our lives come and go, no one really stays, I think the best way to compromise with this reality is to make their "temporary stop-over" worth remembering.

In giving importance to others, I can make a difference (whether big or small) in their lives. If pain in the end is the price to pay for touching other’s lives, then I am willing to pay for that price. In that case, I think I’ll definitely have a better Eulogy than the Joker’s, having my  friends and family cry, making my deeds remembered in a good way.

My dad while he was rendering his testimonials on Uncle Eddie

Uncle Eddie's Immediate Family (Left to right): Ate Tey, Kuya Jan, Chinney, Auntie Beth and Kuya Erwin

I'm tougher than you boy!

Another note from Renee. One hour to go before the end of the office hours, I have nothing to do so I'll answer this note.
3:54pm

Try to answer or give a statement about the questions given.. Say any lines you want.. This note will help you say the lines you want to say where in you can't tell that person directly. or if there's any words in your mind you want to tell the world but you cant tell it coz' there is no chance for it.. so grab the chance to say your lines!

1. What is love? = "It's just attraction infused with sacrifice"

2. A good lie about yourself = "I'm skinny"

3. A line you want to say to someone you admire = "I want to see you almost everytime :)"

4. A line you want to say to the person you hate = "Pwedi ba, kahit once, try mong wag maging self-centered!"

5. A line you want to say to someone but you never had a chance to say it =
"** ********!"

s your word of the day today? = "Hello"

7. A line you want to say for your friend/s = "i miss you BIGtime"

8. A line you want to say for your parents = "THANKS"

9. A line you want to say about your life = "I'm tougher than you boy!"

10. A line you want to say for your special someone = "i like you"

11. A line you want to say in the morning = "nokarin ya e daddy ku?haha"

12. A line you want to say right at this very moment = "Sana may 14th month pay!!!wohoo!"

13. A line you want to say before you die = "Thanks for being sad because of my absence, but don't frown that much, because I did lived a happy and fulfilled life because of you. "
14. Truth about yourself = "magastos"

15. Last line before you end this note = "ang tagal ng 5pm!!!!"
 end:4:04pm

IT'S MORE THAN JUST A CUP OF COFFEE

“I am really in the corporate world.”

That is the exact realization I felt this morning.

I and sir Rannie met up early (8:00am) to have a meeting with our President to present our marketing plan for this semester.

As much as would like to be nervous the day before, but luckily I was not, maybe because I didn’t have much time to be, because there is less than 24 hours when I’m notified that we will be having a meeting with the president.

 The night before, I drunk two bottles of vodka and two shots of tequila, which made me feared that I would not make it to our meeting time at 8:00am.

I woke up with a slight hangover, took my breakfast, took a bath, and then went to the president’s office.

There, we presented our Marketing Plan to our President. While having a meeting in his exquisite office, her secretary served us coffee. Oh my, I had goosebumps (haha). Maybe because it’s my first time to be served coffee in a meeting. Now I can say that I’m really in the corporate world.

It was just passed 6 months since I’ve finished my bachelor’s degree and didn’t have any idea on were that degree would lead me. Now, I just had my first proposal for my department approved.

This is just the start of my adventure in the real world, more coffees-on-a-board-meeting to come.

As much as I want to give details, but pardon me, I still have this hangover. So I might as well end this blog right away.haha

I don’t hold the future dear

This note is from Renee Rae.

11:12am
1) Where is the person you want most?
*/ in my heart?cooorny.haha

2) Where will you be 2 hours from now?
*/ that would be pass 1pm. I will be back at the office.bohoooo

3) The last one you talk to on the phone?
*/ Kathryn (she asked Joy’s number)

4) Does your ex miss you?
*/ hey, I don’t have psychic powers ok??

5) Does anyone love you?
*/ yup. I hope so.

6) Hows your last weekend?
*/ Friday-the best. Saturday-fair. Sunday-fair

7) Has your ex moved on?
*/ perhaps. Are you really thinking that I’m telepathic?

8) What are you doing tonight?
*/ Blogging, watching t.v., think a lot, and Facebook

9) Have you met new people recently?
*/ yes I had. Good ones (kat.orange,pau and choi) and not so good ones(secret.haha).

10) Do you think you would make a good husband/wife?
*/ hope so.

11) Where were you at 1am this morning?
*/ house, sitting in front of my laptop.

12) Do you fall for people easily?
*/ define fall? Do you mean attraction? If that’s the case, yes I do.

13) Everything happens for a reason?
*/ not exactly.

14) What does your last text message read?
*/ Message from Marry Chris, sorry can’t post it. It’s too profane and obscene. haha

18) What are you listening to right now?
*/ Sa’yo Lamang-MYMP. It’s about to finish.

19) How was your week so far?
*/ too ordinary.
20) Is there something you wish u could tell someone but can’t?
*/ yep

21) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
*/ I can’t remember who was that person.

22) Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?
*/ my little sister. Ofcourse!

23) Do you sleep with the TV on?
*/no.

25) Have you ever wanted to be a firefighter?
*/ NO

26) Who do you miss?
*/ Rhyss and some college friends

27) What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
*/ Sugo Red??haha

28) Are you signed onto AIM?
*/ no

29) If you could have any car what would it be?
*/ I rather go commute.haha

30) What are you stressed about?
*/ upcoming foundation day!

31) Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
*/ Not a thing

32) How many windows are open on your computer?
*/ 2 windows, 1 tab each.

33) In the past week have you gotten sick?
*/ no.goodthing.

34) In the past week have you gotten your hair cut?
*/ NO. I want to, but I’m still waiting for my 13^th month.haha

35) Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
*/ Kathryn.ulit ulit tayo dito?!

36) Who was your last call from?
*/ Kathryn. Nakakapikun na ah.

37) What can’t you wait for?
*/ 13^th month pay baby J

38) What do you do most of your time?
*/ think.

39) On a scale of 1-10 How good is life?
*/ great at 8 J
40) Will you and your ex ever get back together?
*/ I don’t hold the future dear. We’ll cross the bridge when you get there ok?

41) Do people hate you?
*/ I don’t know, but I don’t mind, esp if I am hated because I’m being fair.

42) Do you trust your bestfriend?
*/ with all my life

43) What attracts you to boys/girls?
*/ nothing in particular. Basta may magic.haha

44) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
*/ eyes?haha I want a double eye lid. And I want to be lax, I think too much on things that are not that important.

45) Does the person you like know you like her/him?
*/ HELL NO.

46) if you could tell her/him one thing, what would it be?
*/ hey, I like you.haha

47) Whats the last movie you watched and who’d you watch it with?
*/ oh my, am I as loser as this? I can’t hardly remember. Perhap CINCO?

end 11:35am.

My Hidden Passion: PHOTOGRAPHY

"you have an eye of a good photographer..."

Those are the exact words that my Auntie Zenneth (My mom's big sister) told me (in a comment in fb) in a picture under my album THANKSGIVING.

These are the my favorite photo which I took using a common digital camera in macroshot and some on a Nikon D40 (which is not mine). Enjoy.

Photographer: Paul Adrian R. Henson

Subject: Mostly Nature(my favorite), Still life, an Everyday life, and a Structure

those are my colored pencils:)

this is my first photo when I discovered the magic of macroshot

this was taken in a retreat house in Magalang. I don't know the name of the flower.haha

taken on New Year's day of 2010

this is one of our town chapel's tower. Camera: Nikon D40

Camera: Nikon D40

Camera: Nikon D40

Camera: Nikon D40

Camera: Nikon D40

Camera: Nikon D40

Sorry, I don't do Everyday life, just tried.haha This was taken at a variety store (sari-sari store) wherein me and my firends hang out all the time back in college.

This was the picture Auntie Zenneth is talking about. It was taken at my thanksgiving party.

Sushi

calimaki

It's been a universal fact for me that "beauty has a price". Though I would like to continue to take photos more often, a good DLSR camera would be a great help. Unfortunately, I don't have the means yet to buy one. Some time in the future, I wish to own a DSLR so that I can reveal this hidden passion to the world. So I might as well work hard for it. :)

MOTHERHOOD 101

start: 10:21am

This is a rainy morning, since I don't have any marketing tasks today, I might as well encode the records of high schools we invited for our foundation day.

While I'm encoding, two parents of students stayed in our office while their children are at the other office to enroll. They are telling stories about their motherhood expiriences. Here are some of the statements I've remembered:

• Parents won't let you get hurt, so you might as well obey them all the time.
• It's good to be a mom when you're children are all boys, you will be spoiled.
• It's also better to have a daughter if you're a mom, you can doll her up, and when she grows up, she can help you with the chores.
• Befriend your children to the point that they can open up their problems to you, before someone else's will.
• It's good to have a family vacation, you and your children can have the luxury of time to converse.
• It's ok to breed spoiled children, but not to breed brat ones. Know the difference of the two, and your limitations in spoiling as well.

The two moms talked to each other almost 30 minutes, in that span of time, they've talked alot about the joys of their motherhood. 

I tried to decode their messages in a parent's point of view, but ofcourse I can't, because I'm not a parent myself. I did not remembered almost everything, but the statements mentioned above are enough to make me understand my mom more. What the? What's this drama all about?haha

end:10:44am