The Cogitation Egress: The Father Figure

FAB Summer Party with our First Fab Shirt :)

One of my favorite lessons back when I’m still teaching General Sociology was the study of Human Groups. According to Sociology, to become a group, it must be identifiable that sets members apart from non-members.

Social Group

According to study of Human Groups, to become a member of a group, you must be present in their activities so that interaction will be flowing, keeping the group alive—where as the absence of the majority of the members in most of the activities may trigger emotional bond deterioration that can eventually lead to the group’s break down. To be specific, attendance is, and will always be a must to keep the group going.

I always advise my former students that they must spend their time wisely on their close peers that happened to be their classmates, while they still have time to bond in school. I always tell them that “Eto na yung last time na makukumpleto kayo, if makumpleto man kayo, sa other life time na siguro”.

Experientially, this past 2 years, after our collegiate graduation, it became stressful in my part because I find it hard to set a meeting or date with my peers that also happened to be my classmates in college. Worse part is, if ever a date will prosper, I would be grateful if half of them are available.

It’s not their fault that they are not as available as I am. Because as we go separately after graduation, we ventured individually in our chosen or circumstantial careers, and others on raising their own families.

Fortunately, this summer, I had a chance to set a get away with the help of one member from our group, Marjorie. She recently lives in South Korea with her own family, and decided to go home for a vacation. She even waived more than half of the expenses by pledging the accommodation and the dinner for the said outing. Now there’s more reason that my friends can come with us.

Drift of Interest

And it did prosper(applause). I’m talking about our summer get together. At first, I thought that it was surreal. Though only 80% did attend, but that was already the best attendance we had since graduation.

I was a bit surprised that our conversations notched up higher. From usually silly jokes, puppy heart breaks and research problems to life, marital issues, and other matured stuffs.

One thing I learned in our catching-ups and conversations in our outing is that life really goes on and nothing stays the same entirely. Even if you don’t want to grow-up in your youth life, you’ll eventually do, and that’s not even a choice.

Perhaps the only constant thing in my group is the belongingness I feel. Whenever I’m with them I always feel home and doesn’t need to play any role or character.

Father Figure

After our drinking session and had lots of fun, we decided to take our rests for the pending activities the next day. At our resting period, one of my friends came knocking at our room’s door and weeping. After a sec, another friend of ours rushed to our room “I’m sorry”.

Well this segment is not about their problem so I might as well keep the issue confidential. Tired as I am, I transferred to the other room to mend the frenzy or at least let it cool down.

Then at our way home Marjorie, my seatmate then, told me that when I transferred to the other room, that she, and the other girls think that I’m the father figure in our group. I’m modest to ask why, but not modest to admit that I am.

With my dogmatic attitude, I tend to lead the group in most aspects. Also one reason is that I have the most available time amongst them. One point at a time, I grew tired of organizing a date for them, it seems that I’m the only one who wants to make sure that our group still exists and will exist in the coming years. But after hearing my description from them, I felt that I’m responsible for each and every member of our group, and it felt so good that they are depending on me like a father.