Are we dying live or living to die? How can we fight for something that
isn’t completely there?
Life. Yes, it
can stand alone. This broad concept is the reason why I’m blogging on this
post.
So far, I never found
a philosopher that is good enough to find the meaning of it. Maybe it is on the
diversity of our individual minds and experiences that no one can really define
it for general understanding.
So what is in it
that we are dying for, or living at when we can’t simply define it?
It’s been
exactly 2 weeks and two days since I was bailed-out by my company for its
closure. I tried to look for another job, and so far, the “we’ll-call-you”
cliché is what I get from my prospects.
Yeah right, I’m
just being impatient. Well I say it’s easy to be patient when you still have
money to spend and you’re not borrowing from your brother just to sustain your
previous lifestyle. Yes, it is happening.
On my job
hunting, I came out of my comfort zone: I traveled across provinces just to get
a job. I rode crowded modes of public transportation, and queued on lines to get
clearances to secure a living. That period in time, I started to think that
“hey, I’m dying to live now”.
Where as months
before, when I still got a job, I’m just working, then waiting for the pay day
to pay my bills, then spend my remaining money for good time, and then repeat
process. In short, back then, I’m just living to die.
Security. I
don’t know if it can stand alone like its predecessor, but surely it gives a quite
distinctive clue for its definition in my case.
This current
event leads me into an assumption that when we are robbed with certainty,
that’s the very moment that we’ll strive to wrestle for it. When we feel weary
about something being taken away from us, the value of that thing increases and
we’ll do anything to secure it in our possession. That’s dying to live defined
in one paragraph.
On the other
hand, if you’re safe and settled, you’ll find yourself doing stuffs in routine
until you meet the dead end; just like living to die.
Clearly I’m dying
to live now. Being with this notion, I’ve learn how to value so many things in
life that I used to have that eventually lead me into valuing more the things
that I still have. It taught me a lot but I don’t want to be in this moment for
so long. This is an unfamiliar case for me since for a long time, I was really living
to die.
Life--its real definition is about to be revealed while living in and working for it at the same
time. It is something we fight for while we’re struggling to know what really it is about.
Living it or
dying to achieve it, whatever our drives may be, face it, we’re all suckers for
it.
